Like Father
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5,Krishna, 2004
I was married for 21 years to a man who enjoyed strip clubs, drinking, and his buddies. These things became important to him after we married, and part of his job as an undercover cop. He often brought home pictures of himself with strippers to show me.
Throughout our marriage I took care of our two children, the household, and worked full-time without a contribution from him beside his paycheck. I tried to talk to him because we never spent time together, he did not support me as a wife and mother, and I needed more from him as his wife.
Things did not improve. They continued to deteriorate . Our marriage relationship ceased to exist. Months before I left him, I tried to talk one more time and told him, "If this is all there is, I don't want any more." All he said was, "Stop crying and come to bed."
Seven years ago, when our children were 20 and 17, I left him. I felt they were old enough now. They would better understand that we did not love each other and I stayed because of them,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots. I was also tired of being verbally abused on a regular basis by my son.
My children could not understand my feelings. I was and still am seen as the villain for destroying their "family." Even though I was on my own at the time, my ex-husband told my children he caught me in bed with someone, which was very destructive of my relationship with my children. He also told them that my best friend and I were lesbians.
Neither story was true. To this day my son thinks I was unfaithful to his father and keeps inferring that is why I left and that his father had no fault in the divorce.
I eventually met a wonderful man, and we have been happily married for two years. I love him more than anything,instead of making "lose 50 lbs" your resolution, and he loves and respects me like I've never been.
Rachael
Rachael,stop smoking, Harry Chapin's song "Cat's in the Cradle" is about a son who follows his father's not-very-good example. One day, after the father talks on the phone with his son, the older man has a realization. He says, "As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he'd grown up just like me. Yeah, my boy was just like me."
So you stayed for the children, and you wound up with a son like your husband. All blanket rules have exceptions, and the exception to "stay for the sake of the children" occurs when the other parent's example is a detriment to the child.
As a police officer, your former husband knows better than to destroy a mother's image in the eyes of her children. His lies reveal everything about who he is as a person. Unfortunately, staying bolstered your ex-husband's assertions. How bad a husband could he be if you stayed so long? That's his argument.
Your son's perceptions have been twisted by his father. He may be trying to win his dad's praise by torturing you, or he may be manipulating you into trying to win his love. Or perhaps he is simply acting out of defensiveness. He may think, if mom stayed with someone who abused her because of me, that makes me complicit. I'd rather believe dad's story.
When we do something we believe is wrong for the benefit of others, we cannot expect things to turn out well. A mother teaches a girl what kind of woman to be and what kind of wife to be. A father teaches a boy what kind of man to be and what kind of husband to be.
In Harry Chapin's tune, the son says, "I'm gonna be like you, Dad. You know I'm gonna be like you." That can have wonderful results or disastrous results depending on who we are as parents.
Wayne & Tamara
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
the Electronic Age with computers
The Crisis of Stress by Len McNally
For the past 200 years our world has been facing a "crisis of modernity". A crisis of stress,or they might act out their anger in unacceptable ways by raising their voice. The need for stress management and stress reduction,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots.
The Industrial Age with the advent of steam power, the printing press and mass transportation (via land) created what at that time was seen as a state of severe stress.
Information Age followed with newspapers, radio and then television raising the stress level to unprecedented heights.
But lets face it folks, the Electronic Age with computers, e-mail, the internet, downloadable information on almost anything imaginable, has made that seem like kids stuff.
As fast as we adjust to new circumstances they change again. And, the rate of change seems to multiply like a rabbit onViagra!
The instant availability of information on virtually any subject has destroyed our ability to pause, analyze and look for alternatives.
Most of the stress experienced by twenty first century leadership, may come from dealing with change,Play a game with yourself over time and see how many entries you can accumulate.
We desperately need stress relief.
For stress reduction today many people use a stress ball and, while it may help, there is a better answer.
To be a change agent today you need to be an aggressive forward thinker. And, you have to be a change agent!
The only way to stay ahead of change is to get behind it!
Those who promote change are in charge of it, those who oppose it are overwhelmed by it!
Those who must be dragged kicking and screaming into the next set of changed circumstances will be crushed. Stress anxiety can be a killer.
"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength but by perseverance." (Author H. Jackson Brown)
When we determine to become advocates for change we suddenly find ourselves in the position of pusher rather than pushee (we become the stream).
We are more relaxed, more self confident, more self assured and we find that others are more willing to follow our lead.
Peter F. Drucker summed it up this way, "The best way to predict the future is to create it."
It's also the easier way,- It's is so hard to meet someone and I will go to my grave with this person in my heart. Change to! If you believe you can hold back the snowball of progress, you are doomed to be swallowed up in something over which you can never hope to have any control.
By being a change agent you won't just cope with this epidemic, you'll turn it into a dynamic force for personal and corporate growth.
Len McNally
For the past 200 years our world has been facing a "crisis of modernity". A crisis of stress,or they might act out their anger in unacceptable ways by raising their voice. The need for stress management and stress reduction,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots.
The Industrial Age with the advent of steam power, the printing press and mass transportation (via land) created what at that time was seen as a state of severe stress.
Information Age followed with newspapers, radio and then television raising the stress level to unprecedented heights.
But lets face it folks, the Electronic Age with computers, e-mail, the internet, downloadable information on almost anything imaginable, has made that seem like kids stuff.
As fast as we adjust to new circumstances they change again. And, the rate of change seems to multiply like a rabbit onViagra!
The instant availability of information on virtually any subject has destroyed our ability to pause, analyze and look for alternatives.
Most of the stress experienced by twenty first century leadership, may come from dealing with change,Play a game with yourself over time and see how many entries you can accumulate.
We desperately need stress relief.
For stress reduction today many people use a stress ball and, while it may help, there is a better answer.
To be a change agent today you need to be an aggressive forward thinker. And, you have to be a change agent!
The only way to stay ahead of change is to get behind it!
Those who promote change are in charge of it, those who oppose it are overwhelmed by it!
Those who must be dragged kicking and screaming into the next set of changed circumstances will be crushed. Stress anxiety can be a killer.
"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins - not through strength but by perseverance." (Author H. Jackson Brown)
When we determine to become advocates for change we suddenly find ourselves in the position of pusher rather than pushee (we become the stream).
We are more relaxed, more self confident, more self assured and we find that others are more willing to follow our lead.
Peter F. Drucker summed it up this way, "The best way to predict the future is to create it."
It's also the easier way,- It's is so hard to meet someone and I will go to my grave with this person in my heart. Change to! If you believe you can hold back the snowball of progress, you are doomed to be swallowed up in something over which you can never hope to have any control.
By being a change agent you won't just cope with this epidemic, you'll turn it into a dynamic force for personal and corporate growth.
Len McNally
Monday, November 26, 2012
you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But
Speak Up!
Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent? You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to speak...and then didn't. What stopped you?
Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension to the discussion or change the decision about to be made.
You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send?
Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a department of a public sector organization,and they feel good. But what happens when the money is gone. This brought together four people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making.
The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers' offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea.
Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged. The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions. The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the 'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal.
The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is easy. In fact,I was afforded what continues to be one of my most humbling and thought provoking moments., it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do?
With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots!
When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting, formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice, things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your responsibility.
A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to step in and take that opportunity.
AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _________ part of your opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in part, will encourage them to listen to you.
USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may capture their attention.
HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view and, therefore, be more likely to express them,2. Be Alive to Everything You Do.
BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets done! Who wants interminable meetings?
Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so.
Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent? You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to speak...and then didn't. What stopped you?
Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension to the discussion or change the decision about to be made.
You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send?
Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a department of a public sector organization,and they feel good. But what happens when the money is gone. This brought together four people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making.
The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers' offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea.
Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged. The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions. The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the 'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal.
The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is easy. In fact,I was afforded what continues to be one of my most humbling and thought provoking moments., it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do?
With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots!
When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting, formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice, things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But, jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your responsibility.
A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to step in and take that opportunity.
AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _________ part of your opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in part, will encourage them to listen to you.
USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may capture their attention.
HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view and, therefore, be more likely to express them,2. Be Alive to Everything You Do.
BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets done! Who wants interminable meetings?
Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so.
Friday, November 23, 2012
is the only permanent thing in this world. As such
Get Ready for Change by Brent M Durell
Are you stubborn? I mean, are you the kind of person who will keep on doing the same thing even when you know for a fact that you are not getting results? I asked this question because there are business executives who keep on doing the same things even though they are not achieving the results they set forth to achieve in the first place. These kinds of executives are those that are afraid to risk. Although their efforts are not getting the results they want, they still do it for the simple reason that they are afraid to try something new for fear of failing even more.
If you think you are this type of person, well, you better change; otherwise, you would not go anywhere far from where you are currently right now. If you want to be a market leader, then you have to do something drastic to achieve your end results,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots. After reading this article, pause for a while and then do whatever you need to do to change what has not been working for you.
Change, it is argued,In fact, is the only permanent thing in this world,Trina.". As such, there is nothing that cannot change. In fact, change is what everybody needs in order to alter the course of events in one's life. This is especially true for marketers and those who are in sales. If you don't change and just keep on doing the same thing, you're just going to have the same results over and over again. If you are satisfied with the results then continuously do the same things. But if you want to get more, then do something drastic.
So what should you do to affect change? First, you have to change even before you fail. The point is do not let yourself fail if you know all along that there is something wrong with your strategy. This is the common mistake of marketing executives and business ownersthey change only when they see themselves failing in their endeavors. The question now is why you have to wait to fail when you can do something well before you see yourself crashing,The nature of the universe is a constant. Needless to say, do something about it before it is too late.
This is precisely what you should not do when you're in sales. Do not change only when you are in pain or in a quandary before you make yourself alter your plans. You might not be able to do anything because you're in so much pain to even move a small bit.
Take the time and effort to look at your marketing strategy last year. Is your business card printing not giving you the ROIs you expect? Or are your business cards not getting the right clients to your business? The bottom line is to not do the same things that failed you last year. Think about the pain and money your marketing collateral caused you. Think about the lost sales and opportunities, the missed chances that highlight your failure with your marketing campaign. Then make that small step to change for the better.
Never stick with strategies that did not work the first time. Reformulate and re-strategize. This is to suggest that if your business cards did not get the rave it so rightfully deserve, then by all means, go back to the drawing board and reformulate the design. Never insist on doing the same thing if it does not yield the results you want. Whatever you do, just always remember to do something and make sure that you change what you've been doing for the longest time for the better.
Are you stubborn? I mean, are you the kind of person who will keep on doing the same thing even when you know for a fact that you are not getting results? I asked this question because there are business executives who keep on doing the same things even though they are not achieving the results they set forth to achieve in the first place. These kinds of executives are those that are afraid to risk. Although their efforts are not getting the results they want, they still do it for the simple reason that they are afraid to try something new for fear of failing even more.
If you think you are this type of person, well, you better change; otherwise, you would not go anywhere far from where you are currently right now. If you want to be a market leader, then you have to do something drastic to achieve your end results,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots. After reading this article, pause for a while and then do whatever you need to do to change what has not been working for you.
Change, it is argued,In fact, is the only permanent thing in this world,Trina.". As such, there is nothing that cannot change. In fact, change is what everybody needs in order to alter the course of events in one's life. This is especially true for marketers and those who are in sales. If you don't change and just keep on doing the same thing, you're just going to have the same results over and over again. If you are satisfied with the results then continuously do the same things. But if you want to get more, then do something drastic.
So what should you do to affect change? First, you have to change even before you fail. The point is do not let yourself fail if you know all along that there is something wrong with your strategy. This is the common mistake of marketing executives and business ownersthey change only when they see themselves failing in their endeavors. The question now is why you have to wait to fail when you can do something well before you see yourself crashing,The nature of the universe is a constant. Needless to say, do something about it before it is too late.
This is precisely what you should not do when you're in sales. Do not change only when you are in pain or in a quandary before you make yourself alter your plans. You might not be able to do anything because you're in so much pain to even move a small bit.
Take the time and effort to look at your marketing strategy last year. Is your business card printing not giving you the ROIs you expect? Or are your business cards not getting the right clients to your business? The bottom line is to not do the same things that failed you last year. Think about the pain and money your marketing collateral caused you. Think about the lost sales and opportunities, the missed chances that highlight your failure with your marketing campaign. Then make that small step to change for the better.
Never stick with strategies that did not work the first time. Reformulate and re-strategize. This is to suggest that if your business cards did not get the rave it so rightfully deserve, then by all means, go back to the drawing board and reformulate the design. Never insist on doing the same thing if it does not yield the results you want. Whatever you do, just always remember to do something and make sure that you change what you've been doing for the longest time for the better.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Don't focus on your weaknesses
Understanding Yourself by Christina Fields
Have you ever wondered what other people think of you? It would be interesting won't it if everyone was open with their thoughts although this could cause some upset if you don't want any bad news.
It's never going to happen,Some people might assume OCD is simply being used as an excuse for not having to do certain things, of course,perhaps even streaks of genius, so it's important that you assess your behaviour and self awareness to give yourself a chance in bonding with people and being liked.
Understanding yourself
The art of understanding yourself is all about how you see yourself reacting to events going on in your life.
Being Self Aware
The more self-aware you are, the more able you are to understand others and yourself, which will benefit every aspect of your life.
You will begin to identify the things in life that make you happy and this, in turn,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots, will encourage you to challenge areas of your life that you take for granted.
Think about the good and bad things in your life
There will be things in your life which are good and make you happy. In contrast, there will be some areas of your life which you want to change.
Taking time to think about all aspects of your life is a great way of assessing your skills and interests and will help you focus on the areas which make you happy and satisfied.
Positive thinking
Incorporating new behaviours and positive thinking will go some way to eliminating any past failings.
Positive thinking will improve your self awareness, but it will also improve your confidence to enable you to make positive decisions in your life,notebook computer.
Positive thinking will also enable you to proceed confidently in any action you take, as you will feel more capable in your abilities.
This could simply involve you interacting with people in a confident, assured manner which makes you feel involved and part of a team.
Be honest with yourself
There is no point in being unrealistic, however. You know what your strengths and capabilities are; you just need the confidence to carry them out.
Don't focus on your weaknesses
Ask yourself what your strengths are as well as question what you feel you are weak at. We can't all be scientists or brain surgeons, but we can achieve success and happiness doing what we are good at.
By learning from your weaknesses, you can build a stronger future for yourself.
Identify the dominant emotions of your character
By identifying elements of your character and emotions, you can begin to understand who you are.
By analysing your thoughts and behaviours in a way that shows you where your attention is being focused, you will gain an insight into your strength of character.
Put your emotions to good use
Be happy with yourself and try to be friendly to people, even when they don't deserve it it will stand you in good stead in the future. Be strong and maintain your values people will look up to you for it.
Best wishes
Christina Fields
Have you ever wondered what other people think of you? It would be interesting won't it if everyone was open with their thoughts although this could cause some upset if you don't want any bad news.
It's never going to happen,Some people might assume OCD is simply being used as an excuse for not having to do certain things, of course,perhaps even streaks of genius, so it's important that you assess your behaviour and self awareness to give yourself a chance in bonding with people and being liked.
Understanding yourself
The art of understanding yourself is all about how you see yourself reacting to events going on in your life.
Being Self Aware
The more self-aware you are, the more able you are to understand others and yourself, which will benefit every aspect of your life.
You will begin to identify the things in life that make you happy and this, in turn,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots, will encourage you to challenge areas of your life that you take for granted.
Think about the good and bad things in your life
There will be things in your life which are good and make you happy. In contrast, there will be some areas of your life which you want to change.
Taking time to think about all aspects of your life is a great way of assessing your skills and interests and will help you focus on the areas which make you happy and satisfied.
Positive thinking
Incorporating new behaviours and positive thinking will go some way to eliminating any past failings.
Positive thinking will improve your self awareness, but it will also improve your confidence to enable you to make positive decisions in your life,notebook computer.
Positive thinking will also enable you to proceed confidently in any action you take, as you will feel more capable in your abilities.
This could simply involve you interacting with people in a confident, assured manner which makes you feel involved and part of a team.
Be honest with yourself
There is no point in being unrealistic, however. You know what your strengths and capabilities are; you just need the confidence to carry them out.
Don't focus on your weaknesses
Ask yourself what your strengths are as well as question what you feel you are weak at. We can't all be scientists or brain surgeons, but we can achieve success and happiness doing what we are good at.
By learning from your weaknesses, you can build a stronger future for yourself.
Identify the dominant emotions of your character
By identifying elements of your character and emotions, you can begin to understand who you are.
By analysing your thoughts and behaviours in a way that shows you where your attention is being focused, you will gain an insight into your strength of character.
Put your emotions to good use
Be happy with yourself and try to be friendly to people, even when they don't deserve it it will stand you in good stead in the future. Be strong and maintain your values people will look up to you for it.
Best wishes
Christina Fields
Thursday, November 15, 2012
crushing twisted metal
Are You A Survivor? by Jeff Miles
The sound of screeching brakes, crushing twisted metal, a splatter of broken glass, and screams from inside the turned-over call. Call 911!
This is the first number that comes into your mind whenever an accident occurs.
Paramedics are called to the accident scene for a single purpose - to save lives. Upon approaching their patient, the first thing they do is look for vital signs. Vital signs include pulse and pulse rate, signs of breathing, movements, cries for help, and signs of consciousness all these represent a glimmer of hope showing that the patient is still alive.
Next thing that a paramedic does is to look for signs of possible fracture, internal bleeding,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots, shock etc. They try everything to keep the victim comfortable and safe from further harm. The essence of their action is focused on one thing - to rescue.
Just like a paramedic, the coping attitudes of an individual in the midst of a crisis in life will determine his capability as a survivor. This time however, the paramedic is also the victim intent to rescue himself.
Having a goal, which is to win over an adversity,Now to say, will determine your survival. Consider the vital signs that characterize a survivor. You are a survivor if:
1. Your first instinct is to solve the problem and not point the blame. You find the real issue in order to find the best solution to overcome the problem. Unconsciously, some people focus their attention on the source of the problem. They ask who or what started it, in an effort to pinpoint blame.
However, is this the right time to do this? What good will it do now? The problem is already there. To capitalize on the problem in order to obtain absolution is self-serving. The best approach is to find the solution. From there, you can learn the lessons that need to be learned so as not to commit the same mistakes.
2. You seek help from other people. Talk to an expert on the subject surrounding the problem to find the best solution. Asking for support or assistance is not a sign of weakness; rather it is a sign of wisdom,Your Mindset Determines Your Life. Help from others could determine survival.
3. Your first reaction is to split the problem into manageable pieces. Work on the problem by fractions. Leave room to chew the food in the mouth. Fill the mouth to the brim and it won't be able to move.
4. You know when to rest in order to regain strength. It does not mean giving up totally. Keep proper pacing to ensure you have enough stamina and energy. You cannot think clearly when you are confused. Regain your composure. In the same manner, you cannot think when exhausted. Regaining strength and composure could be all you need.
5. You can be like a garter. Flexibility has its value so make use of it. There is constant need to reinvent your self to be updated. Muster enough courage to be a master of your feeling. If the inevitable becomes imminent, accept it as part of the scourge of life.
6. You can express negative feelings in a positive way. "I may not be an excellent leader, but I am a good team player." Likewise, you can express positive feelings and learn proper perspective in finding the right solution to the problem,I am writing.
7. You have confidence and trust that the problem can be solved. The future does not look as bleak as it seem. There is always a reason to be optimistic.
You are a real survivor the moment you can grasp mentally the essence of your action to a problem - the essence to rescue yourself.
The sound of screeching brakes, crushing twisted metal, a splatter of broken glass, and screams from inside the turned-over call. Call 911!
This is the first number that comes into your mind whenever an accident occurs.
Paramedics are called to the accident scene for a single purpose - to save lives. Upon approaching their patient, the first thing they do is look for vital signs. Vital signs include pulse and pulse rate, signs of breathing, movements, cries for help, and signs of consciousness all these represent a glimmer of hope showing that the patient is still alive.
Next thing that a paramedic does is to look for signs of possible fracture, internal bleeding,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots, shock etc. They try everything to keep the victim comfortable and safe from further harm. The essence of their action is focused on one thing - to rescue.
Just like a paramedic, the coping attitudes of an individual in the midst of a crisis in life will determine his capability as a survivor. This time however, the paramedic is also the victim intent to rescue himself.
Having a goal, which is to win over an adversity,Now to say, will determine your survival. Consider the vital signs that characterize a survivor. You are a survivor if:
1. Your first instinct is to solve the problem and not point the blame. You find the real issue in order to find the best solution to overcome the problem. Unconsciously, some people focus their attention on the source of the problem. They ask who or what started it, in an effort to pinpoint blame.
However, is this the right time to do this? What good will it do now? The problem is already there. To capitalize on the problem in order to obtain absolution is self-serving. The best approach is to find the solution. From there, you can learn the lessons that need to be learned so as not to commit the same mistakes.
2. You seek help from other people. Talk to an expert on the subject surrounding the problem to find the best solution. Asking for support or assistance is not a sign of weakness; rather it is a sign of wisdom,Your Mindset Determines Your Life. Help from others could determine survival.
3. Your first reaction is to split the problem into manageable pieces. Work on the problem by fractions. Leave room to chew the food in the mouth. Fill the mouth to the brim and it won't be able to move.
4. You know when to rest in order to regain strength. It does not mean giving up totally. Keep proper pacing to ensure you have enough stamina and energy. You cannot think clearly when you are confused. Regain your composure. In the same manner, you cannot think when exhausted. Regaining strength and composure could be all you need.
5. You can be like a garter. Flexibility has its value so make use of it. There is constant need to reinvent your self to be updated. Muster enough courage to be a master of your feeling. If the inevitable becomes imminent, accept it as part of the scourge of life.
6. You can express negative feelings in a positive way. "I may not be an excellent leader, but I am a good team player." Likewise, you can express positive feelings and learn proper perspective in finding the right solution to the problem,I am writing.
7. You have confidence and trust that the problem can be solved. The future does not look as bleak as it seem. There is always a reason to be optimistic.
You are a real survivor the moment you can grasp mentally the essence of your action to a problem - the essence to rescue yourself.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
large photos
Enrich Your Relationship by Making Memories With Autistic People How? by Bonita Darula
Sharing memories with autistic people can enrich your relationship with them. How? There is value in sharing memories with an autistic person. For example:
* When you are talking about memories with a person who has autism it brings you and them closer together.
* No matter what age or who the individual is with autism, memories make connections of enrichment, because of what has happened,No matter what you do.
* Memories give force to positive emotions. You can talk about them, remember when "the good old days" were. By talking about them, you will develop laughter, warmth, tears, and you will probably want to keep on talking, and not stop.
There are many ways to make memories happen with an autistic person that will enrich your relationship with them. For instance:
* Make something happen by initiation. Start some new projects or family gatherings, new activities and make new friends. This will bring enrichment to an autistic person.
* Make it happen by setting aside a special time frame. Keep special dates open, to remind yourself, that is the time to make the memories with your autistic individual to enrich the relationship.
* Try to plan to make memories for the ones you share and love to be included. Talk about what happened, share stories, photos, humor, show and share souvenirs, and reflect on the good times.
* Making memories with your autistic individual reveals you care, and it will give you the opportunity to share the experiences, enrich your life and his or hers with autism. The relationship will become stronger,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots.
* Take pictures of the events to create memories. Create a slide show, and invite guests to watch and bring some refreshments. You might want to bring or show some souvenirs to add to the conversation that day.
By making memories whether it be a child or an adult with autism, helps their emotions,Why not tell your subconscious mind some really positive things before you nod off to sleep, by bringing and showing them the pleasant times that were spent with family and friends.
It is an excellent plan to have journal, and keep track of the special events that you have shared or want to share. This will enrich your relationship with the person who has autism.
I find one of the most creative ways to make memories with an autistic individual is through pictures, and visual aids. Pictures or photos of special events, family, vacations, and travel,into a package that is easy to grasp, can help the autistic individual learn, relate to the subjects, communicate and understand the variety of what goes on in our world.
Making memories will enrich your relationship, develop management skills, improve reading comprehension, have a better understanding of relationships with family, friends, places, past, and create new ideas for the future.
One of the things I have learned, to enrich a relationship with a person who has autism, is to use color or texture of certain objects that are related to the memories. For example, souvenirs, large photos, slide shows that you can put together with music, and colorful backgrounds, will make excellent memories.
Making memories with individuals with autism, will benefit you and your child, and bring about many positive emotions. It will enrich your relationship.
It is wise to be creative to make memories. Remember, to make special times, dates, activities on your calendar, for it to happen. Include your family, friends, neighbors, relatives, other children to participate in the event of making memories. Your relationship with an individual who has autism will be enriched.
Sharing memories with autistic people can enrich your relationship with them. How? There is value in sharing memories with an autistic person. For example:
* When you are talking about memories with a person who has autism it brings you and them closer together.
* No matter what age or who the individual is with autism, memories make connections of enrichment, because of what has happened,No matter what you do.
* Memories give force to positive emotions. You can talk about them, remember when "the good old days" were. By talking about them, you will develop laughter, warmth, tears, and you will probably want to keep on talking, and not stop.
There are many ways to make memories happen with an autistic person that will enrich your relationship with them. For instance:
* Make something happen by initiation. Start some new projects or family gatherings, new activities and make new friends. This will bring enrichment to an autistic person.
* Make it happen by setting aside a special time frame. Keep special dates open, to remind yourself, that is the time to make the memories with your autistic individual to enrich the relationship.
* Try to plan to make memories for the ones you share and love to be included. Talk about what happened, share stories, photos, humor, show and share souvenirs, and reflect on the good times.
* Making memories with your autistic individual reveals you care, and it will give you the opportunity to share the experiences, enrich your life and his or hers with autism. The relationship will become stronger,1984 Ugg Fox Fur Tall Black Boots.
* Take pictures of the events to create memories. Create a slide show, and invite guests to watch and bring some refreshments. You might want to bring or show some souvenirs to add to the conversation that day.
By making memories whether it be a child or an adult with autism, helps their emotions,Why not tell your subconscious mind some really positive things before you nod off to sleep, by bringing and showing them the pleasant times that were spent with family and friends.
It is an excellent plan to have journal, and keep track of the special events that you have shared or want to share. This will enrich your relationship with the person who has autism.
I find one of the most creative ways to make memories with an autistic individual is through pictures, and visual aids. Pictures or photos of special events, family, vacations, and travel,into a package that is easy to grasp, can help the autistic individual learn, relate to the subjects, communicate and understand the variety of what goes on in our world.
Making memories will enrich your relationship, develop management skills, improve reading comprehension, have a better understanding of relationships with family, friends, places, past, and create new ideas for the future.
One of the things I have learned, to enrich a relationship with a person who has autism, is to use color or texture of certain objects that are related to the memories. For example, souvenirs, large photos, slide shows that you can put together with music, and colorful backgrounds, will make excellent memories.
Making memories with individuals with autism, will benefit you and your child, and bring about many positive emotions. It will enrich your relationship.
It is wise to be creative to make memories. Remember, to make special times, dates, activities on your calendar, for it to happen. Include your family, friends, neighbors, relatives, other children to participate in the event of making memories. Your relationship with an individual who has autism will be enriched.
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